The last 2 months have been interesting. After dealing with immense personal / work issues, it’s incredibly nice to get back to my life of being surrounded by intelligent people doing great things and challenging myself to become a better person.
In the last 2 months I have come across feelings and thoughts which I did not experience since a long time. Being away from something / someone can bring in a range of emotions. A few good thoughts and a few thoughts which make you feel not so good.
I have been thinking about my thoughts the last few days and no words seem to match how I feel. I have written and re written and deleted a few paragraphs in this post a few times now. Some paragraphs I thought did not deserve to be public and some which did not say much.
In the ‘real world’ outside of my family and a few friends I don’t fit in at all. I do a decent job of faking it when necessary, but I really don’t understand most people, and they really don’t understand me. I feel like I’m an outsider. An observer.
I’ve only ever found a handful of people through typical real-world situations who I can really associate with. I always thought I was the only one, and I was somehow incredibly weird (in a bad way) for that. But there are plenty of people like me out there. I follow around 400 of them on Twitter alone.
The internet shows me that my thoughts aren’t that strange after all. I’m not just some lone weirdo thinking these odd things about the world. I can’t look around and think “nobody gets it” because I know that some of you do.
Intellectually, it’s even better. I’m attacked, defied, outclassed, and proven wrong regularly — and every time, I become a better person.
If such a thing exists, I certainly have an internet addiction. And I don’t care. I have absolutely no desire to be a “normal” member of society, doing whatever normal people do with their time (go partying and then watch “the game” and shout at television). I’m very happy here, doing what I’m doing, and being a part of something so amazing, challenging, and stimulating.